


Twenty Ways It Happened

by kowaiyoukai



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan)
Genre: Alternate History, Explanation, Fixing Plot Holes, M/M, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-20
Updated: 2008-07-20
Packaged: 2017-10-30 14:35:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/332819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kowaiyoukai/pseuds/kowaiyoukai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Do you want to know how he got his scars?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twenty Ways It Happened

**Author's Note:**

> So, first attempt at Batman fanfic, and it's Nolanverse. B/c I am so not up to date on the comics at all. Also, I had to write this because all of the reviews I read kept on saying about how Joker gets his scars, but he claims he got them two separate ways in the movie, and I thought, hey, there's an idea for a fic. This is getting me ready to write some Batman/Joker goodness. :P

1\. He didn't remember how he had gotten them. He had woken up, and they had been there—already healed as if God had come down and carved them as divine punishment. The only way he knew anything had changed at all had been by looking into the bathroom mirror, and that's why, to this day, he absolutely _cannot_ look in any mirrors.

2\. It had been a Tuesday, which he knew because the cafeteria served vegetable meatloaf every Tuesday, even if they had to serve last week's leftovers because the shipment hadn't come in. He had been popular, really popular, an athlete and a musician and the class president, and everyone had loved him. That Tuesday, though, a huge senior had grabbed a knife and lunged at a freshman, and he had been the only one in between them, and he had rushed into the fray, heedless of his own personal safety. The freshman had been saved, but he didn't win the next class election and suddenly no one could eat at the same table as him anymore.

3\. His mother had told him about this because he had been too young to remember, but apparently he had an unhealthy interest in arts and crafts. When he was a few months old, he had been playing with scissors and his mother had only just rushed him to the hospital in time. Any longer and he would have lost the ability to speak, that’s what his mother said.

4\. No one had ever paid him any attention in school, or at home, or even on line at the local grocery store. He had been desperate, it had been a cry for help, it had been a symptom of a larger problem, and so on and so forth. Now everyone looks at him when he walks by.

5\. There had been a fire—a massive, horrible blaze that took out half of his house before he realized that his little sister was still trapped inside. He had rushed back in, frantic to save her, and a window had burst in on him, shattering from the heat and pressure. He had lain on the floor, bleeding and in pain, and eventually someone brought him out, but they never found his sister—not even a picture of her.

6\. So much money could be won at gambling, and he had been in such debt, and there had been no other way to make back that sort of money. So he had gambled big, lost even more, and when they had come looking for him, he hadn't had anything to give them. Except what they took.

7\. Taming wild animals was a tough job, but he had dreamed his whole life of handling lions and wearing a sparkling suit as the audience applauded, wildly enthused at his bravery and skill. Unfortunately, it seemed as though someone had tampered with the lion's food, or perhaps Sheba just hadn’t been feeling up to her usual standards that day, but when he had stuck his head in her mouth, the audience had ended up screaming. The worst part was, they had put Sheba down afterwards, and damn it, but he had really loved that lion.

8\. A priest had told him to confess his sins, and when he had started listing them, the priest had ended up shocked at his actions. After begging for forgiveness, the priest had stated that there was no forgiveness for someone like him, which really wasn't fair at all. So he had gone around to do something—punch the priest, maybe—but when he had gotten to the other side, the priest turned out to be an imposter with a set of carving knives on hand. It hadn't been a fair fight, and when the real priest had found him, there had been talk of the stigmata, believe it or not.

9\. Any chance to be on television was too good to miss. As an aspiring young actor, he needed to be on the ball, ready to grab any part that came his way. The prop guys hadn't been paying enough attention, and real knives had been mixed in with the fakes. The shot ended up being too realistic to use in syndication, and all of his dreams for the future had died before they ever had a chance to really shine. Luckily, all of the money he got in the ensuing lawsuit was enough to keep him unemployed for life.

10\. Being a prostitute was a shitty job, regardless of the clients he took in. There were some that were worse than others, and when one of them had offered him a drink, he had stupidly taken it. When he had woken up, the guy had been gone and all he had left was something no one could ever erase. His pimp had been furious about the fuck and run, and about the property damage, but he never saw the guy again. Except in his dreams.

11\. Archery was the absolute best sport that had ever been invented, period. He knew it and loved to play it any chance he got. There were always a lot of rookies around when he played, but it had never bothered him because he enjoyed helping other people learn. So he hadn't noticed anything unusual about the family a few meters down from him. He heard from the manager, later, that the five-year-old with them had been holding the bow and arrow at the parent's urging, and apparently the pictures had been to die for.

12\. He was an ace assassin, the kind people thought existed only in cheesy action movies. One of his targets got a little too close, but he finished the job all the same, and the extra money he made thanks to work-related injuries was worth the small inconvenience.

13\. As one of the best dancers available, he knew he would be chosen for the final performance. What he hadn't planned on was Muriel being chosen as well—the three-hundred-pounds-and-counting opera singer who had decided to make a career switch. Her jumping and pounding made the stage shake, which made the support beams for the set wobble, which ended with the entire set crashing down around them. The doctors said he had been lucky—apparently Muriel would be a lot thinner from now on, and no one felt right calling that one girl an air head any more.

14\. It was actually very simple. He had been moving a widow with another guy, and one of them had lifted when the other wasn't ready, and if you thought he looked bad, you should see the other guy.

15\. He had been in an actual, honest to God, sword fight. He had volunteered to help his friend practice for a competition, and the rubber tip had fallen off at some point, and instead of stopping they had kept on going. That was why you always stopped if something happened that caused a safety concern. This was a life lesson.

16\. The only thing to say was that he hadn't been paying attention while shaving, and thanks to a horrible accident involving motor oil and pesticides, he no longer had any sensations in his nerve endings. Now he paid extra careful attention while shaving, staring at himself in the mirror while doing so, making triply sure that everything was absolutely fine.

17\. He had an unfortunate nervous tic that involved chewing the insides of his cheeks. The first time he had asked a girl out, he had been so nervous that he had chewed right through both of them. The girl had said no, and so had every one thereafter.

18\. Every single person in the rave blamed every single other person there for bringing the damn razors, and if he ever found out which one of them had done it, he was going to string them up by their bondage pants and do the same to them.

19\. A burglar had broken into his neighbor's home when he had been trying to sleep. Luckily, he had seen the odd shadow moving and had gone over, worrying that something was wrong, and he had run into the thief on his way out. They had wrestled, and the thief pulled a knife, and the cops came before it could get any more out of hand. The mayor actually came by to thank him for his bravery, and although no one wanted to put his picture in the paper, the cops gave him an honorary badge that he used as a paperweight to this very day.

20\. Actually, when the drug dealer with the limp had told him that there was no way things would go bad, he had believed it. Five minutes later, the dealer had been dead and he had been not far behind, and all that had saved him had been knowing that the cops were sure to come any second to bust them. The paramedics would be called in, and they would rush him to the emergency room where he'd probably get treatment fairly quickly. Sure, he'd have to make up some story to tell them, but he had always been good at that, and anyway, the truth was only for those who needed to know it.

 

_fin._


End file.
